In the previous post, we talked about learning to receive the fruit God has placed in the season we’re actually living, instead of constantly comparing it to someone else’s—or even to a previous season of our own lives. You’ll find it here, if you haven’t read it yet: Stop Trying to Squeeze More Into Your Days.
Something else that came up for me is that sometimes the struggle wasn’t that I had misunderstood the season. Sometimes, I misunderstood my capacity.
For years, I thought the solution was becoming more efficient. If I could just find a better system, manage my time more wisely, or become more disciplined, then surely I could do everything I used to do… maybe even more.
But what if the issue isn’t that you’ve become less capable? What if your capacity simply looks different than it once did?
What I’ve noticed over the years is it wasn’t just my responsibilities that had changed. I changed. The capacity I had as a newly married, working woman was very different than with toddlers underfoot. It looked different again when homeschooling entered the picture. And it looks different now as our children are growing into adulthood and I’m building a business.
That’s when I realized I had been measuring things all wrong. I kept expecting today’s capacity to look like yesterday’s. I thought increasing my capacity meant fitting more into my life. I’d tell myself, I can get this done. Just push through. I was happy to complete it. Yet I’d crawl into bed exhausted and physically sore from the day’s work. Sometimes, I’d feel sore for days afterward, depending how big the project was.
Was that truly capacity? Or was I simply overdoing it and borrowing from tomorrow? Tomorrow’s energy. Tomorrow’s strength. Tomorrow’s patience. Even tomorrow’s time.
Had I been measuring my capacity… or simply my output? The more I sat with the question, the more I realized I don’t think they’re the same thing.
Nowadays, I’m beginning to wonder if God increases our capacity in very different ways.
Output asks: How much did I finish? How many boxes did I check? How much did I produce?
Capacity asks: How faithfully did I carry today’s assignment? Did I remain present? Did I leave margin for tomorrow? Did I steward my body, mind, and relationships well? Am I becoming more like Christ in the process?
Instead of my former understanding of packing more in and tackling a mile-long to-do list, maybe it’s—no, definitely—so much more. Greater peace under pressure. Greater discernment. Learning to understand and handle our emotions better. Greater wisdom. Greater ability to love. And yes, sometimes even greater assignments.
Perhaps God has been increasing my capacity all along. Just not in the way I expected. Not by teaching me how to cram more into every day. But by teaching me how to carry each day with greater peace, greater wisdom, greater love and, most of all, greater trust in Him.
Let me leave you with a question. Where have you been measuring output when God may be growing your capacity?