Most of us assume we need more discipline and self-control. Sometimes we do, but often what we really need is less friction.
In The Pace of Peace, I talk about the difference between resistance and friction.
Resistance is often internal—fear, unbelief, procrastination, or the spiritual battle that keeps us from obedience.
Friction is more external—the unnecessary drag we create in everyday life. It’s the tiny obstacles that make the right thing harder than it needs to be.
We can’t eliminate every form of resistance. But we can often remove unnecessary friction.
Resistance often requires a form of surrender, repentance, planning, and faithful stewardship. A note about surrender, God isn’t opposing us. More often, we’re the ones wrestling against His leading—or against the habits and patterns of our own flesh.
Friction often calls for wisdom, stewardship, simplifying, planning, and preparation.
Those are not the same problem.
Sometimes we’re praying, “Lord, give me the discipline to walk every day.”
Sometimes His answer is, “Move the walking pad out where you’ll actually use it.”
Or:
“Lord, help me feed my family healthier.”
His answer may not be a burst of motivation. It may be, “Cook ten sweet potatoes instead of four.”
Wisdom often removes needless obstacles before they become unnecessary burdens.
What if some things really could become easier—not because life changed, but because we removed what never needed to be hard in the first place? Every unnecessary obstacle consumes a little bit of our capacity. When we remove that drag, we have more to invest in what God has actually called us to do, without adding more hustle or striving. You can read more about capacity here: Greater Capacity Isn’t Always More Activity.
Some things are simply a part of faithful living. Laundry is necessary. Feeding your family is necessary. Education is necessary. The question isn’t whether we should do them. It’s whether we’re making them harder than they need to be.
Some examples could be:
- Cooking one sweet potato for lunch every day instead of six at once.
- Searching for your shoes and keys every morning instead of giving them a permanent home.
- Leaving the walking pad folded away where it’s out of sight instead of where you’ll naturally use it.
None of these are spiritual problems. None of these is a sin of missing the mark. They’re friction. They’re obstacles—or simply ways of doing things—that make life harder than it needs to be, quietly eating away at your time and peace.
I’m guilty of asking God for more capacity when He’s invited me to steward the capacity I already have. Sometimes we don’t need more hours in our day. We need fewer unnecessary obstacles. Capacity isn’t only increased by saying no. Sometimes it’s increased by making the faithful things easier to say yes to. Stewardship isn’t always about doing more. Sometimes it’s about making the right things easier to keep doing.
This is just the beginning.
Over the next several posts, we’ll look at how friction shows up in our homes, relationships, faith, health, and everyday rhythms—and how removing small obstacles can create surprising freedom.
Up next, Kitchen Friction: Why Dinner Feels Harder Than It Has to Be
Because sometimes the path to greater faithfulness isn’t trying harder—it’s removing what never had to be in the way.